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Getting easier

I have not smoked for sixteen days. The last few have been a LOT easier. It's not so hard to get through the times when I'm stressed out or when I'd usually be smoking.

I've been making a big effort to get back to lipstick. When I don't get dolled up and put on lip rouge I notice I don't feel as good about myself. I have also noticed that there are some very subtle voices in my head encouraging me to just be a schlub. Why? Because I'm not going to get the look right and I'll be perceived as a pathetic loser and a poseur.

I take the safe route because, well, it's safe.

On Sunday the 14th of March, I realized just how my self-esteem was suffering when a part of one of my teeth chipped off. I was flossing what I thought was a popcorn hull out of my back tooth. I thought "Wow, that's a big chunk of something." Nope, it was a chunk of my tooth.

It didn't hurt. It was just a divot out of the side of my tooth. I actually thought about ignoring it because it would probably cost a lot to fix it. I honestly considered not telling Scott about it.

Then, when I went to the dentist the next day and I found out how much is was going to cost for the crown, I wondered if I could tell my dentist to just pull it.

Who has these thoughts? Who else in the world thinks about removing body parts because they're not worth the money it would take to fix?

It turns out that I made the right decision in going in. The tooth in question has a big, old filling in it. The tooth around has discolored and the enamel is cracked. If I'd not gotten it crowned, it would have just cracked apart and left me with just roots. And maybe exposed nerves. Dry socket. All that good stuff.

Sigh, when I am I ever going to get a handle on this? When am I going to stop giving myself all these shoves?

This is so remarkably frustrating!


Yay you for over 2 weeks without smoking! And also for taking care of your tooth. I am one who has had a tooth (ok, more than 1) because I could not afford the money to fix it, or thought I had better uses for the money.
It does sound like you did the right thing with your tooth. I lost one tooth a few years ago (failed crown and a cracked tooth), just got another one crowned, and have yet another root canal and crown in my future.

Congratulations on sixteen smoke-free days!
Congratulations on 16 days without a puff! You're a strong, determined woman to stay so self-disciplined!

And it's good that you got that tooth checked; I've seen too many people, my mother included, hold off from getting dental work done, and dental problems don't go away if you ignore them. They just get more expensive to fix. Take care of yourself; you're worth it!
Sounds like you are doing the right things and making the right decisions. Keep plugging along. One day at a time. (that is all I can handle) :)
Knowing your well deserved fear of the dentist you have won and won BIG in 2 arenas....huzzah! Good on you for the 16 days....one day, one minute at a time.
Kisses and hugs....

September 2012

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